Frustration

So, where do I begin. I got married last September to the love of my life. And with him cam two beautiful children. The downfall, they also came with a mother. My husband was accused of doing things that I wouldn't even consider and to make matters worse he had his kids taken away for several months during the divorce process do to the accuations. So when that all happened he moved in with his sister and had to quit his job for his own well-being and survival. She hashed him to pieces in every way possible. He got the minimal visitation rights that Utah allows. Becuase he wasn't paying child support he has back child support which makes him look like he doesn't care. But honestly when a woman is taking over $300 dollars a month from you and they would come in clothes that were to small for them but mom could some how have accrylic nails on you would be furious as well. Basically the system is completely against us. I basically ben over backwards, work harder, entertain two children, support a husband who is trying to finish school so that he can afford to have a family with me while trying to support his childre. Plus, give them everything they need while they are with us. Let me tell you it is not easy.
To make things even worse, my step-son who is only four was just diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall at the age of four, which infuriates me even more, because mom has the nerve to say that he is out of control. Excuse me, we have never once had that big of a problem with him. Mom claims he dut open his screen to his window and through his toys out while in time-out, who in their right mind would leave a child alone long enough for that to happen, your a parent, act like one for heavens sake.
The hardest thing is taking them home, we have to try not to land bast their mother while they are crying, my step-son will even through his shoes and curl up in a ball so that we can't put his clothes that go back to his mothers on him.
My step-son through such a fit a few weeks ago that I was concerned at why he was so anxious and so I asked him and he said that moms nails are sharp and then he showed me how mom grabbed his arm with her nails, EWE, how infuriating, but we have nothing to go on but what four and a six year old say. So we have resorted to just telling them to make life easier when we have to take them back,this, we tell them that when they get older they can tell a judge a that they want to live with us but for now mom loves them and wants them to live with her and we can't do anything about it.
Now whenever we leave my step-daughter tries to remind her brother of this fact, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but at least they know that we care and that we want them to live with us but as of right now we can't do much.